Krazy_calvin's Xanga

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:27:31 GMT

I dont get how this thing works anymore. I needed to put something on here though so here it is.

Monday, August 06, 2007

Mon, 06 Aug 2007 16:32:08 GMT

So I have been working at the T-mobile call center for close to 6 months now. on the 14th it will be 6 months to be exact. I'm kind of thinking that I'm going to try to hold on for a year and then look for something else. I want at least a years experience there for a nice little token on my resume. Maybe i'll start applying for different positions between now and then. Saves department would be nice. They sit around and play cards and every once in a while take a call. I'm sitting there for nine hours and twenty minutes with back to back calls. On to a different topic, a month ago I got myself a dog. His name is Bishop Coxcomb and he is a Bichon Frise. I'm going to go get ready for work. Ten more hours and I'll have two days off.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:49:39 GMT

Hey, xanga... where have you been?

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Sat, 02 Jun 2007 16:02:25 GMT

Friday June 01, 2007

Guess Who’s Back Day!

Your Mom’s back and she’s sitting on your couch. She ran off on you and your Dad when you were seven. You’re seventeen now, and you’re not doing so well.

“Your Dad still suck?” she asks.

“He’s making do,” you say. “He wasted a lot of time wondering where you’d gone and what he could have done to make you stay.”

“He used to tell the worst jokes and he snored,” your mom says.

You don’t say anything.

"His breath stunk too. I’m just saying. I had my reasons.”

You don’t say anything.

“If you’re just gonna sit there and not say anything, maybe I shouldn’t have come back at all.”

You ask your Mom, “Why did you come back?”

“I wanted to see how tall you got,” she says.

You stand up against the door-frame where they used to mark your height. The last mark is only three feet from the ground. Your mom marks the wood at over six feet.

“Those are my genes you know,” she says. “Your Dad and his whole family are real short. Fat too.”

“Is it your genes that are making me fail out of school and break into houses so that I can buy drugs?” you ask. “Or am I just doing that because my Mom ran off when I was seven?”

“Sorry kid,” you Mom will say. “But I’m betting it’s because you’ve been living with your Dad all these years. I mean, man does he suck.”

Just then your Dad walks into the house. He farts while chewing with his mouth open then he says something racist and makes a phone call to his real estate company to tell them to make a business deal that leaves thousands of low income families without a place to live. He’s bleeding from someplace on his body and he’s tracking blood on the carpet.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he says when he sees your Mom.

Your Mom takes off. After she’s gone, your Dad tries to clean up the blood with a rag that he wet with grape juice. It upsets you, but admitting that he’s doing something sucky would be siding with the mother who ran off on you all those years ago. So you get down on your hands and knees and help him rub grape juice into the carpet. While you’re down there, your Dad gets angry and hits you.

(www.girlsarepretty.com)

Here is another good one...

Tuesday January 02, 2007

Nametag Day!

Today, at the Superfresh, when your cashier asks you whether you'd like anything else. Say to her, "No, that'll be all." Then take a pause to look at the nametag on her breast, and add, "Sarah."

The cashier will smile. "Actually, this isn't my nametag. I borrowed this from somebody because I left my nametag at home. But I appreciate you taking the time to address me by my first name. It seems like we all do everything we can to run from transaction to transaction, casting people out of our lives as quickly as we pull people in, making an effort to not remember a single detail of the strangers we meet in our day. I mean, if I place my fingertips to the skin of your palm when I hand you your change, are we really strangers anymore?"

"Precisely," you'll say. "So what is your real name?"

The cashier will say, "It's Sara, but without the H."

Ask to speak to the manager and complain that Sara without the H was getting nitpicky with you. Threaten to never shop there again and he'll give you some special coupons.

I've known this site is halarios, but you should really go there...

Carter The Unstoppable Unsolicited Massage Machine Day!

Your friend Carter is a little touchy. Not to say he�s overly sensitive. Though he could be. You can�t know who�s crying behind closed doors when the nighttime comes. No, to say Carter is touchy means that he likes to touch girls with whom he has not previously had intimate relations of any sort. Many of these are girls that he has wooed without success. Many others are girls he has just met within the hour. To touch a girl who has not previously given her permission to be touched requires a strategy if one is to not be scolded or arrested. Carter�s strategy is to come up from behind the girl he wishes to touch (surprise!) and without warning (again, surprise!) place his hands upon the girl�s shoulders and commence a massage of the girl�s shoulder and upper back tissue. Since a massage is normally a non-sexual service that relieves stress and is often paid for by the recipient, Carter may hide behind the apparent generosity of his providing such a service for free and without even needing to be asked. However, Carter has not been trained in the art of massage, and his technique often does more harm than good. Additionally, any fool can see that Carter�s motivation is not to relieve the stress of the recipient. Carter administers these massages because he likes to give himself wood. And he doesn�t like to wait until he�s attained the consent of whoever might aid in this wood-getting. It�s innocent enough and doesn�t leave many scars, but nonetheless, all of your mutual female friends have caucused and they�ve decided that tonight they will forcibly remove Carter�s hands from his wrists. They will use a hacksaw that they plan to buy later today at the hardware store. Don�t get in their way, as they�ll be forced to harm you as well. But be ready to take Carter to the hospital. Cover your backseat in plastic sheeting. Maybe you could go with your mutual female friends to the hardware store and buy a roll of plastic sheeting when they buy their hacksaw. Make a day of it.

Welcome To The World Of Strep Throat Day!

She didn�t seem that sick when you met her at the bar last night. But when you wake up this morning, her side of the bed will be empty. There will be crumpled up tissues everywhere. You�ll look around the apartment for her, but no dice. She clearly split while you were asleep. You�ll try to shrug it off. This isn�t the first one-night stand you found yourself in, but it still stings. You�ll go into the bathroom and turn on the light, and that�s when you�ll learn why she went home with you last night. Written on the mirror in lipstick, the long, jagged, blood-red letters will read:

WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF STREP THROAT!

You�ve heard about this kind of thing happening to friends of a friend, but you always figured it was just a kind of urban myth. Could there be women out there who go home with men just to infect them with strep throat? Are there strep throat patients who feel so violated at having been infected that they need to exact revenge on the entire sex of the person who infected them? You start to wonder at the politics of sex and romance and whether things have sunk to such a sad level. Then you�ll cough a bit. You�ll hold your fingers to your throat and you'll have your answer. The glands are swollen.

Hope you enjoy having severe trouble swallowing for the next three days.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Thu, 31 May 2007 05:09:16 GMT

Yea, I just beat level 20 on the highest difficulty on Dr Mario! I spent a good half an hour trying to do it but finally I beat the hell out of it!. I uploaded three pictures that I got of my accomplishment. The congratations text faded to the final scene before i could get a screen shot of that, but the viruses are actually aliens. The last part of it shows them getting beamed up into a spaceship. How do you like that? The final picture is of me losing pretty much instantly on level 21. Anyway, i have to work for 4 hours and 45 minutes tomorrow and then i have a mini vacation. I'm happy about that too... heh..

here is the picture of me after i cleared level 20 on hi difficulty

Here is a picture of the viruses being beamed back up to their ship

Here is the picture of level 21 on hi... i lose... but i beat 20!

Friday, April 27, 2007

Fri, 27 Apr 2007 07:58:33 GMT

Well... I had a screenshot but i accidently messed it up. Oh well... I have been playing alot of battlegrounds in World of Warcraft. Alterac Valley is one where its a 40 man on 40 man war where you have to destroy defenses/capture graveyards and move forward to the enemys commander. At the end you kill the commander and whoever does this first wins AV. I have been doing nothing much more than this in the game for about a week or two now and have become quite good at it. Tonight, for example, I played three games. In all three games I was in the top 5 out of both teams in damage scored. I had a screenshot from the final game where I was number one in the server. i was about 30000 damage ahead of the person in second place. I'm quite happy with my character right now... I just wish I didnt mess up that screenshot...

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 01:26:06 GMT

Half-price Solar Panels - Colorado

Section: HOMESTEADING; SOLAR POWER — by Elena, 04 Apr 2007

Proud owners

This time last year we revealed Colorado’s plans to make solar a real option for residents — (Prez PV-Nuts for Colorado) — and now they’re starting to reap the benefits. Residents in Colorado are getting around 50% back on their solar installations thanks to renewables incentives offered by utility companies.

Mike Harvey’s home in Chaffee County has 16 brand-new solar panels, producing around 3,500W on a sunny day – energy that he funnels into the Xcel power grid. In return, Xcel is rebating him $13,900 - about 50% of the cost to install the system. Plus, the company buys power from the panels at $2.50 per watt, reducing Harvey’s monthly energy bill by more than 80%. The system also entitles Harvey to a $2,000 federal tax credit.

“Economically it seems to make sense,” Harvey said as the panels were installed. “At some point, we’ll pay off our capital investment by paying a lot less in electricity. Plus we have an environmental ethic and we want to do everything we can to reduce our consumptive footprint.”

Installed by former off-gridder, Tim Klco – now owner of Peak Solar Designs – the system is just the solar panels wired together, plugged into a converter and connected to a standard Xcel Energy meter. Through the net metering provision, Harvey can now treat the main energy grid as a bank.

“During the day, when they are out, they’ll be putting power in,” Klco explained. “At night, when they are using power, they’ll be taking it out.”

Klco is hoping more locals take advantage of the new renewable energy laws. He formerly lived in an off-grid solar panel house near Cotopaxi. Last year, he moved to Salida and started Peak Solar Designs to be on the cutting edge of what he and Governor Ritter call “the new energy economy”.

“These new rebates have stirred the market and made it attractive for people to do it on the grid,” Klco said, adding that Chaffee County is an ideal place to capture solar energy.

“We have so much sun here and we have people with imagination and a general desire to do the right thing.”

For Harvey, the solar panels are a source of pride. He said he knows he is not only energizing his own house with a clean energy source, but is supplying the whole system, helping Xcel reach its renewable energy goals.

“I just think it’s cool to have this mini power plant sitting on top of my roof,” Harvey said.

In 2004, Colorado voters passed Amendment 37, requiring large utility companies to get 10% of their energy from renewable sources.

As a result, Xcel created the Solar Rewards program, offering an up-front rebate for homeowners wanting to install solar systems.

This spring, Governor Bill Ritter is expected to sign into law a bill doubling the renewable requirement to 20% for large utility companies taking the rural electric association requirement to 10% by 2020.

Another bill that passed from the state House of Representatives two weeks ago would standardize the net metering system allowing home-based renewable energy systems to interact with the grid.

Xcel spokeswoman Ethnie Grove said the company will achieve the 10% renewable requirement by the end of the year – that’s three years earlier than voters mandated.

Xcel has paid $9.4 million in rebates and credits since the requirement was enacted.

“We are confident we can achieve the 20% standard by 2020,” she said.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 05:17:51 GMT

Influential author Vonnegut dies at 84

By CRISTIAN SALAZAR, Associated Press Writer Thu Apr 12, 6:57 PM ET

NEW YORK - In books such as "Slaughterhouse-Five," "Cat's Cradle," and "Hocus Pocus," Kurt Vonnegut mixed the bitter and funny with a touch of the profound.

Vonnegut, regarded by many critics as a key influence in shaping 20th-century American literature, died Wednesday at 84. He had suffered brain injuries after a recent fall at his Manhattan home, said his wife, photographer Jill Krementz.

In a statement, Norman Mailer hailed Vonnegut as "a marvelous writer with a style that remained undeniably and imperturbably his own. ... I would salute him — our own Mark Twain."

"He was sort of like nobody else," said another fellow author, Gore Vidal. "Kurt was never dull."

Vonnegut's works — more than a dozen novels plus short stories, essays and plays — contained elements of social commentary, science fiction and autobiography.

A self-described religious skeptic and freethinking humanist, Vonnegut used protagonists such as Billy Pilgrim ("Slaughterhouse-Five") and Eliot Rosewater ("God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater") as transparent vehicles for his points of view.

Vonnegut lectured regularly, exhorting audiences to think for themselves and delighting in barbed commentary against the institutions he felt were dehumanizing people.

"He was a man who combined a wicked sense of humor and sort of steady moral compass, who was always sort of looking at the big picture of the things that were most important," said Joel Bleifuss, editor of In These Times, a liberal magazine based in Chicago that featured Vonnegut articles.

Like "Catch-22," by Vonnegut's friend Joseph Heller, "Slaughterhouse-Five" was a World War II novel embraced by opponents of the Vietnam War, linking a so-called "good war" to the unpopular conflict of the 1960s and '70s.

Some of Vonnegut's books were banned and burned for alleged obscenity. He took on censorship as an active member of the PEN writers' aid group and the American Civil Liberties Union.

The American Humanist Association, which promotes individual freedom, rational thought and scientific skepticism, made him its honorary president.

Vonnegut said the villains in his books were never individuals, but culture, society and history, which he said were making a mess of the planet.

"I like to say that the 51st state is the state of denial," he told The Associated Press in 2005. "It's as though a huge comet were heading for us and nobody wants to talk about it. We're just about to run out of petroleum and there's nothing to replace it."

Despite his commercial success, Vonnegut battled depression throughout his life, and in 1984, he attempted suicide with pills and alcohol, joking later about how he botched the job.

"I will say anything to be funny, often in the most horrible situations," Vonnegut, whose watery, heavy-lidded eyes and unruly hair made him seem to be in existential pain, once told a gathering of psychiatrists.

Vonnegut was born on Nov. 11, 1922, in Indianapolis, and studied chemistry at Cornell University before joining the Army. His mother killed herself just before he left for Germany during World War II, where he was quickly taken prisoner during the Battle of the Bulge. He was being held in Dresden when Allied bombs firebombed the German city.

"The firebombing of Dresden explains absolutely nothing about why I write what I write and am what I am," Vonnegut wrote in "Fates Worse Than Death," his 1991 autobiography of sorts.

But he spent 23 years struggling to write about the ordeal, which he survived by huddling with other POW's inside an underground meat locker labeled slaughterhouse-five.

The novel that emerged, in which Pvt. Pilgrim is transported from Dresden by time-traveling aliens, was published at the height of the Vietnam War, and solidified his reputation as an iconoclast.

After World War II, he reported for Chicago's City News Bureau, then did public relations for General Electric, a job he loathed. He wrote his first novel, "Player Piano," in 1951, followed by "The Sirens of Titan," "Canary in a Cat House" and "Mother Night," making ends meet by selling Saabs on Cape Cod.

Critics ignored him at first, then denigrated his deliberately bizarre stories and disjointed plots as haphazardly written science fiction. But his novels became cult classics, especially "Cat's Cradle" in 1963, in which scientists create "ice-nine," a crystal that turns water solid and destroys the Earth.

He retired from novel writing in his later years, but continued to publish short articles. He had a best-seller in 2005 with "A Man Without a Country," a collection of his nonfiction, including jabs at the Bush administration ("upper-crust C-students who know no history or geography") and the uncertain future of the planet.

He called the book's success "a nice glass of champagne at the end of a life."

Vonnegut, who had homes in Manhattan and the Hamptons in New York, adopted his sister's three young children after she died. He also had three children of his own with his first wife, Jane Marie Cox, and later adopted a daughter, Lily, with his second wife, Krementz.

Vonnegut once said that of all the ways to die, he'd prefer to go out in an airplane crash on the peak of Mount Kilimanjaro. He often joked about the difficulties of old age.

"When Hemingway killed himself he put a period at the end of his life; old age is more like a semicolon," Vonnegut told the AP.

"My father, like Hemingway, was a gun nut and was very unhappy late in life. But he was proud of not committing suicide. And I'll do the same, so as not to set a bad example for my children."

___

Associated Press writers Michael Warren, Hillel Italie and Chelsea Carter contributed to this report.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 23:49:42 GMT

So yea... It has always seemed to me throughout life that whenever I move from a darker place to a place with bright light, I sneeze... sometimes 4 or more times extremely quickly. This is something that has been bothering me for a while, but never really realized there is an actual term for it. I was bored to day so I did a little research into the subject. I always just said that my eyes were photosensitive. I was sort of correctish... It is more of a genetic problem.

A.
Close association between the eye’s optic nerve and nerves causing the sneeze reflex may explain why an estimated 5-25% of people sneeze with sudden exposure to bright sunlight or other light sources. Sudden bright stimulation of the eye that occurs after a person has become adapted to darker surroundings is thought to bring on the condition, known as photic sneeze reflex. The reflex also is called Autosomal Dominant Compelling Helioophthalmic Outburst Syndrome, known by the acronym ACHOO. (Not making this up. Really.)

-Bright Lights and Sneezing

Ophthalmologists conducting eye examinations long have known about the sneeze reflex because it occurs so often under bright light used for viewing the eye’s interior structures. Because the condition is considered mostly harmless and certainly not life threatening (unless you happen to be landing a plane), there aren’t many scientific studies regarding photic sneeze reflex. However, the U.S. military has studied the condition in relation to how it might affect fighter pilots.

More About Light-Stimulated Sneeze Reflex:

-The common photic sneeze reflex, which often creates multiple sneezes, is considered an inherited condition found more often in Caucasians.
-A study reported by the British Journal of Ophthalmology noted that one form of the sneeze reflex appears related to another condition (nephropathic cystinosis) that causes abnormal crystal deposits on the clear front covering of the eye ( cornea). Nephropathic cystinosis, an inherited disease found mostly in Caucasians, is a metabolic condition affecting various parts of the body.
-Injections to numb the eye for eye surgeries or procedures also have been associated with a sneeze response, although at least one study notes the condition does not appear the same as the more common photic sneeze reflex.
-Speculation continues that more in-depth studies of photic sneeze reflex might enhance understanding of a central nervous system disorder (epilepsy), triggered by stimulus such as strobe lights.

(Ahem... source... http://vision.about.com/od

/opticsvisiontheory/f/snee

zereflex.htm
and
http://answers.yahoo.com/q

uestion/index;_ylt=Ahweg1Y

F0583mujsp9VYTkxIzKIX?qid=

1006040513859 and http://en.wikipedia.org/wi

ki/Photic_sneeze_reflex)

Friday, April 06, 2007

Fri, 06 Apr 2007 12:44:52 GMT

Friday April 06, 2007

You Make Your Mortgage Payments In Quarters Day!

Your mortgage payment is due today. Just like you’ve done every month for the past twelve years, you’re going to go down to the bank with a giant burlap sack containing $1121.56 in quarters (and six pennies) and thump it onto the desk in front of Jeff Blugard, the bank manager.

“God you're an asshole,” Jeff will say.

“Fuck you Jeff, now mark it paid,” you’ll say.

“Gotta count it first don’t I, you cock,” Jeff will say.

“I’ll wait for my receipt,” you’ll say.

“Fucker.”

“Fuck you.”

“Fucker.”

“Fuck you, Jeff.”

Jeff will shove the bag off his desk so that it drops into the little red wagon he bought especially for your mortgage payments.

“Fucker,” he’ll say once more before wheeling your mortgage payment into the back to start pouring it into the change counter. He’ll come back an hour and a half later with your receipt.

“Here you go fuckdick,” Jeff will say. “See you next month, ass.”

“You wanna get lunch?”

Jeff will shrug and the two of you will go to Quizno’s. You’re still angry that Jeff had an affair with your wife, but the mortgage payments are vengeance enough. And ever since she passed, you feel the need to keep Jeff around. You like having the company of someone who came close to knowing just how wonderful she was.